Lux Aeterna
by kolachess
Summary: 'A shadow isn't afraid of the light. A shadow is afraid of the darkness, which can consume it the moment the light goes—' Slight KagamixKuroko. Character introspection. Flangst. One-shot.


**Author's Notes:** Hey, everyone! So I was writing new chapters for _Cheese for the Paparazzi! _(my other KnB fic) and I was just like, wow...too much happiness, need some angst and seriousness. I entertained the idea of setting some 'interludes' or whatever into it, but it's a crack series and while fluff can worm its way into it, I'm not sure this type of flangst can.

And no worries! I shall update that one too...haha.

So um...this is me angsting up Kuroko's life. It's also my sort of philosophical take on the whole 'light-shadow' analogy. Short drabble.

Hope it makes sense... XD

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**Lux Aeterna**

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* * *

_'What are you hiding from?'_

* * *

Nobody ever understood.

_'Ne, Kuroko-kun... Don't you ever get tired of following him around like that? Doesn't it suck, being overshadowed?'_

Human beings have always had an irrational fear and, from that, hatred of the darkness. Darkness represented the unknown, uncertainty and uncontrollability. People hated that. Black was the color for darkness, and black was the color for Death. Black was the color of a shadow. So people also detested the shadow.

But the shadow is not part of the darkness.

_'I will be the shadow to your light.'_

The shadow is the soul mate of the light. Light cannot exist without shadow, and shadow cannot exist without light. The latter is given as a matter of fact and something everyone and anyone accepted and knew.

But people often forget the first.

Light cannot exist without shadow _just as_ shadow cannot exist without light.

Because the moment you see the light, the moment something touches the light—at that same exact moment—it means that either you or that something has cast a shadow.

The two go hand in hand, and one is equally strong as the other, each a constant reflection of the other's strength.

They are equals.

But...that would be a false conclusion as well.

* * *

_'Why do you make yourself invisible?'_

* * *

He's always detested this part of his past.

_'Do you have any idea what you're doing to your family? Tetsuya needs a mother and a father, not some man who only pops in once every few months and a woman who can't even tell her son apart from his classmate because she is never even sober anymore! Your son isn't some_thing_ you can just ignore!'_

He isn't. He isn't some_thing_ that was ignored. He can't be. Not when he was the one who chose. You can't ignore something that never wanted any attention in the first place, right?

_'Why do you make yourself invisible?'_

So others never have a chance to.

* * *

The shadow and the darkness are so similar, but cannot be any more different in their true natures.

Darkness exists where light does not.

Shadow exists where light does.

Shadows do not exist in the darkness.

How do people so often forget that?

* * *

They are _not_ equals, because he is weak.

Light cannot exist without shadow, and shadow cannot exist without light.

But when a light dies, it simply goes out. It no longer exists.

When a shadow dies, it is consumed by the darkness.

The light protects the shadow from the darkness.

When a shadow dies, it is _consumed_ by the darkness.

And that has always scared him more than anything else.

_'What are you hiding from?'_

Nothing. Because isn't nothingness the darkest of them all?

* * *

Nobody ever understood.

_'You don't hate him for stealing the spotlight? You don't get offended when people call you his 'shadow'? Ehhh... You're such a nice guy, Kuroko.'_

He wasn't.

He wasn't the nice guy.

He was selfish.

He's protected by his light. Protected from the darkness like a safe halo surrounding him.

Protected from oblivion.

Nobody ever understood...except for him.

* * *

_'I only need you to see me...'_

* * *

There's nothing scarier in the world than knowing your own existence is completely and utterly unnecessary.

His parents didn't need him.

_'Mama? Please come back...'_

How could he possibly live on with that sort of truth? Only if it wasn't the truth.

His parents _did_ need him. It was only because _he_ didn't need his _parents_ that they appeared not to need him back. It wasn't anyone's fault he chose to remain invisible, especially not his.

It was his choice.

It wasn't anyone's fault he chose to remain invisible, and so it wasn't anyone's fault they never saw him.

But it was a lonely and dying lie.

So it was _that person_ who granted him haven.

_'I will be the shadow to your light...' So please. Look at me. I only need you to see me...need me..._

* * *

"You're thinking of something stupid again, aren't you?" someone comments lazily while plopping down next to him and loudly slurping down the last of a juice box.

He frowns and lets his eyes flicker down to the center of his lap where he is idly fiddling with a pebble. "I don't know what you mean."

The other person heaves an irritated sigh and crunches the juice box before chucking it into the bin by the door. "Aaaand score!" The other smirks and scratches his chin smugly. A few moments of silence pass between the two of them. He knows the other is observing him quietly—he feels the unsettling twinge. "Oi, Kuroko. Stop that."

"Stop what?" Blue eyes blink up blankly.

"You're wrong." The red-haired boy leans back on his arms and cocks his head backwards before shooting him a glance out of the corner of his eye.

"...What?"

"All that nonsense you're thinking about...you're wrong. I can hear all the wrong thoughts oozing out of your little head," he says loudly and knocks the light-haired boy's head lightly.

"Kagami-kun..."

"We're equals, 'kay? We got this far because of the both of us. I need you just as much as you need me. You said you'd be the shadow to my light, didn't you?" Sharp crimson eyes lock with icy blue. Then he grins that grin which bares all his teeth for the world to see.

Kuroko looks away in response. "But I also...from Kagami-kun..."

"Needing help and protection doesn't make us unequal, baka. It makes us friends."

Kuroko snaps his head up in surprise, though little of it transpires on his face. The insides of his chest and head are a chaotic mess. His jaw is shut tight and refuses to unhinge. Though, what he would say even if it did remains unknown to him.

Before anything else could cross his mind, the larger boy slings an arm around his thin shoulder and pulls him close. "The first time, you said you'd be my shadow. This time, I say we ditch these stupid analogies and just play ball. I'm a basketball-baka through and through, so here it is in basketball-speak: we're going to be a team for a long long time, got it? And no one's gonna stop us." He smirks again, that cocky rebellious grin tearing across his face. He then ruffles Kuroko's hair.

It makes Kuroko smile.

_'I will be your light as long as you need me to burn. I will be your light forever.'_

**~End**

* * *

**End notes: **And there it is! The ending and hence the title of the story ( Lux Aeterna = eternal light for those of you who don't know. :D ) Uh...okay hopefully that turned out alright. I have a tendency to go too deep into philosophy and life and trying to make it all somehow sound epic and uh...yeah. Ok, Kagami is a bit OOC. He's too stupid to be saying all that smart stuff. XD

Hope some of you enjoyed regardless!

Ok I'm done and going to bed now.


End file.
